This Fire

I am alone, in my conscience, where only doubt and evil live. I am meant for this, meant to suffer; meant to be alone. It is something I must believe in, since I've got nothing else. I have no friends; no one to talk too. I may shut off my phone again, there is no point anymore. I can't explain how this feels, but I can show you. I can write these words in hope that long after I am gone someone understands my pain, and rejoices the voice in these letters, one by one. I am a martyr, a fictional character, to help explain emotions that others don't have the will to say. But maybe that's what happens when hurricane meets harbor. When soul meets body, and all that is left are fragments of a lost opportunity. An opportunity that was gone as fast as it came. Because life is no video game. You only get one life, one chance to love, and one chance to make an impact. My time on this world is soon ending. This fire inside me has burned out. I am sick of being sick and tired. My heart has ran out of summers. This fire is over.


Ne-Yo - So Sick

End Of A Story.

I firmly believe every story has its endings, including mine. I think mine is coming to an end. I thought I had it all but not so much anymore. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, what's my purpose, and my goals. I am lost and I want to die. I suffocate myself sometimes at night to help me sleep better. I want to cut but I'm just too lazy. I feel alone, really alone. I feel like I don't have anyone that cares for me. I started my dream that helps me sleep again, for the past week or so. Before then, I hadn't in about 3 months. I think it is time. Time to let it all go. I deserve to be alone, and rot in a corpses shell. I almost stabbed myself in the chest tonight also, but that, would be way too much pain. I just wish I knew why I was born. For nothing of good reason that's for sure. I still think it was just for me to suffer, and hide in my fears. To be honest, I haven't been this depressed at all this year. I feel like shit. I think I'm gonna watch a sad/romantic movie. It will probably be "Definitely, Maybe". That movie is really good. Goodnight.