The end.

This is this bloggers wife. He is gone. My daughter is now without a father. This breaks my heart. Please rest my dear husband. 

03.20.2020

fuck you asshole

Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you

10 Feet Down

I feel so fucking lost. So alone. It's a Friday night and I have no one. No hope. Normal people go out right ? Normal people have normal friends with normal lives. So I guess I'm not normal. I'm tired of being alone. Always so alone. Will there ever be anyone that can help me in nights like tonight? Probably not. 

A good life doesnt seem so bad

A good life doesnt seem so sad

We all want what we cant have

Staring at an empty cup. Never going to be filled. 

I'm walking in the rain. Please. Release this pain. 

Intentions

For over 10 years I used to think that writing frees the soul. That anything I put down here actually means something. I've finally realized that it was all a distraction from me killing myself. Well I see through the lies. All coping mechanisms have failed. I am going into self destruct mode. The end is here. Come and get me.



I'll be killing myself soon. So there's that. 
When I die, put my ashes in the trash bag
I don't care where they go
Don't waste your money on my gravestone


Oh, and happy 100th post Ethan. Fuck.

Callsign Odessa

Hey,

I know this is new to you. I know that what I'm saying is hard to believe. Fuck. I'm having anxiety. I'm here, alone. Crying through my words. With the world crashing around me. And you have him. He has you. I don't know exactly what I am expecting from you. I am nothing special. I am not as good looking as him. Maybe I shouldn't stay, maybe I shouldn't care, maybe I talk too much. But baby, ill be there. Every single day. Its going to be hard, its going to be rough. And all along ill be afraid. But this is our chance. To live our hopes and dreams. To see the world. To see love. So this is it Callsign Odessa, this is all for you. 

I'm coughing 'cause of your cigarettes
I'll always hate that you smoke
You always smell like a holiday
I'm still in love with you though
It was spring time, you were still mine
Back when I felt whole
I'm coughing 'cause of your cigarettes
I'll always hate that you smoke

I'll be your right now
I'll be your forever
Oh, I'll be your last call
I'll be your whatever

You said you really like Springsteen
And I think that I like that a lot
A flower child of the 70's
At least she thought that she was
She was wild, she was dangerous
In all the best ways
With a heart like that she was never meant to be tamed
A flower child of the 70's
At least she thought that she was

You're obsessed with the moon and in love with the stars
I'm in love with your soul and everything that you are
You're obsessed with the moon and in love with the stars
I'm in love with your soul and everything that you are

What shall we do next?