The End

I have all the pills right in front of me.

Miserable At Best is blasting through my room.

This is the end.


I can't feel my legs.
I can't even cry.
How can someone die like this?

Thoughts Before Me

Staring at your reflection every day 
Can make or break my heart away 
When you won't listen to what's hard for me to say 
Those tear stained eyes 
Can make me feel so sad and once again 
We're further away from what we never had 

So why should I take your hand when you can't promise happy endings? 
Just run away with so much left to share 
It's just not enough 
When we're so much more than friends 
We're much too young to throw away our cares

Where'd You Go?

Where'd you go?
I miss you so much
It seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Shit, I find myself just filling my time,
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
But I'm doing fine, and I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say.
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waiting for your decision.


And I'm tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses,
For why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you've got until it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your games,
So when you decide I won't be here but you can still say it..




So like i said, I found my stash of pills.
Also over the past couple weeks ive been saving my Zanex(?)
Tomorrow after work will probably be the scariest time of my life.
And the fact that no one is going to be there to stop me is even more frightening.
Pills...Are my way out.

Change Of Plans

I found my medication hidden by my mom.
Hmm.
Now what?

Hope For Every Fallen Man

Every now and again life fills these lungs.

I feel alive.
I don't know know why.
Ive had heartbreaks recently  yet i remain solid and pure.
Could it be my meds finally working?
Or have i come to accept what life is?
I don't know but i believe that there's hope.

Should i take your hand, Even though you can't promise me happy endings?
We will have to see.


Sorry it's taken so long.
I just signed on and read a comment from my last blog.

To that person:
Thank you.