The Replaceable One

It seems that no matter how hard I try I always fail.
I fail so many times that I should be used to it.
But I'm not.
Every time hurts more and more.
Every scar starts to bleed.
My wounds never get the chance to heal.
I look back to april 24th 2009.
I realize nothing has changed.
Nothing ever will.
My depression will always find a way to rear its head.
Even in the happiest of times, it's always there.
I think I was meant to suffer.
While others shine, I'll be in the shadows.
I regret not being something better.
But the path was so dirty, I couldn't see.
I went down many paths, all of them bad.
I met many people, who I wronged.
I met many people, who wronged me.
It seems like I never met that person,
Who truely cared and loved me.
I always needed someone but no one ever stayed.
It's not their fault.
I wasn't worth it.
It was only high school.
But know I'm out.
Out in the real world.
My future is dim and the past is bright.
You learn from your past but die in the future.
I used to believe "hope" meant something.
That it's meaning was profound
And could rally the lonely together.
But what was once profound is lost.
Lost in the sands of time.
I have become what is needed to people.
A person who can be dropped off the road.
And wait for the next failure.
I will be tossed aside over and over.
I am nothing more.
I am replaceable.