Pact To Myself.

STARVING TO DEATH
Time:      40 days give or take. Depends on health.
Available: Anywhere where you can't be force-fed
Certainty: Good as long as no medical help & will power holds up
Notes:     Supposed to be easier after the first couple of days, since
      your appetite goes.       

"after approximately 20 % of body weight loss, illness will
 begin to set in, notably severe indigestion, muscle weakness, and
 worst of all_ mental incapacity. ... about 40 days before life
 is seriously theatened." 

"In some cases self-starvation can be very painful. ... morphine
 had to be administered to kill the pain of fatal dehydration."

The End Of Heartache

I hate my life. I'm so alone. No one cares about me. I wish I had her. Not saying she's "the one" or anything, but I really like her. Oh well, I'm not good enough, as always. I can't sleep, I can't breathe. I want this heartache to end. Now.

Dearly Beloved

Dearly beloved, are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented? Or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure

Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded? Or am I just overjoyed?
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word and that's my best excuse

Loneliness Can Break A Heart

I feel so alone. I want people to talk to me. Just for one day. No one cares to even ask how my day was or anything. So yes, my heart is broke, never to beat again. I'll get used to it, I'll get used to disappointment. I'm just not quite ready yet. Because until she is gone, i cannot die. I expect her to leave soon, because i probably annoy her by how much i talk to her. She doesn't even like me after all. I want to trade this life for something new, something that i can believe in. I hate myself, and everything I stand for. Soon enough, I'll be long gone, gone from the non believers and the critics. Soon enough, I'll be coming home. Because loneliness can break a heart.

Black And Blue

I don't believe in fate, or that people are meant to be together. I believe in pure coincidence. I believe in two people meeting by chance and one having enough courage to pursue a mate. Maybe that's why the divorce rate is so high. People believe that if they find someone even remotely attractive it's meant to be. I don't want too believe that but it just always happens. Why must I fall in love with a girl that gives me even the least bit of attention? I would like to think that there is someone for everyone, not just for my sake, but for everyone's. So I have to ask myself, why am I single? Is it because I think I'm ugly and undeserving? Or is it because I refuse to believe that everyone I come in contact with isn't Her? It's a question that seems to allude me. But I will take the blows, one by one. Black and blue, beat me until I'm numb. Because I can't die until I see that light in her eyes.

The End.

I give up.