Spacebound

I feel so depressed. Like nothing ever goes right. I pour my heart out into what i say and do and nothing good comes from it. No one cares. I don't believe in hope anymore, I don't think "God" makes things new. I don't trust the fact that it takes times for wounds to heal. How is my heart supposed to heal when the stitches won't say in? I do believe in pain, and suffering, and the emptiness of my heart. I believe that I was meant to be alone, and that my walks in the sorrows of my nightmares are justified. I walk this path on my own, no one to take my hand and lead me. I keep my thoughts clumped up in my head. All day they are circling like birds ready to feast. They can smell me dying. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my words have no meaning, and my actions have no impact. I used to write because it freed my soul, but now I write because it's the only thing that doesn't judge me. However words can only go so far. As the cliche goes, actions do speak louder than words. I will prove that. I will show her that my life was lost because I didn't have her. That only she knew my true pain and chose to ignore it. That she, and only her, could have saved this life. When I am gone. I want her to know how much i needed her, right by my side, through thick and thin. I want everyone to know that she was the death of me.


It's lust, it's torturous, you must be a sorceress, cuz you just
Did the impossible; gained my trust, don't play games it'll be dangerous
If you fuck me over, cuz if I get burnt
Ima show you what it's like to hurt
Cuz I been treated like dirt before ya
And love is evol, spell it backwards I'll show ya (evil)
Nobody knows me, I'm cold, walk down this road all alone
It's no one's fault but my own. it's the path I've chosen to go
Frozen as snow, I show no emotion whatsoever so
Don't ask me why I have no love for these mo'fuckin' hoes
Blood suckin' succubuses, what the fuck is up with this
I've tried in this department but I ain't have no luck with this
It sucks, but it's exactly what I thought it would be like tryna start over
I got a hole in my heart, some kind of emotional roller coaster
Something I won't go till you toy with my emotions so it's over
It's like an explosion, everytime I hold ya I wasn't joking when I told ya
You take my breath away, you're a supernova, and Imma...


I'm a space bound rocketship and your hearts the moon
And I'm aiming right at you, right at you
250 thousand miles on a clear night in June
And I'm aiming right at you, right at you, right at you


I'll do whatever it takes, when I'm with you I get the shakes
My body aches, when I ain't with you I have zero strength
There's no limit on how far I would go, no boundaries, no lengths
Why do we say that until we get that person that we thinks
Gonna be that one, then once we get them it's never the same
You want them when they don't want you, Soon as they do feelings change
It's not a contest and I ain't on no conquest for no mate

I wasn't looking when I stumbled on to you, musta been fate
But so much is at stake, what the fuck does it take?
Let's cut to the chase, before the door shuts in your face
Promise me if I cave in and break
And leave myself open that I won't be makin' a mistake

So after a year and six months, it's no longer me that you want
But I love you so much it hurts, never mistreated you once
I poured my heart out to you, let down my guard, swear to God
I blow my brains in your lap, lay here and die in your arms
Drop to my knees and I'm bleedin, I'm tryna stop you from leavin'
You won't even listen so fuck it, I'm tryna stop you from breathin'
I put both hands on your throat, I sit on top of you squeazin'
Til I snap your neck like a popsicle stick, ain't no possible reason
I can think of to let you walk up out this house and let you live
Tears stream down both of my cheeks now I let you go and just give
And before I put that gun to my temple I told you this... (Gunshot)

And I woulda did anything for you
To show you how much I adored you
But it's over now, it's too late to save our love
Just promise me you'll think of me everytime you look up in the sky and see a star

-Spacebound- Eminem 

It Is Fate.

I told myself if no one texted/called me today I would kill myself tomorrow. So far no one has. I have to walk to work tomorrow so I 'll just run into traffic. I think I actually might do it this time. I'm not afraid to die anymore. It is fate. I have to do this. I can't be afraid anymore. I feel so worthless, I have to stop this pain. It's been five years of struggle and now its time. No one has tried to help me. I am screaming for help. I feel so alone. It's hard to type when you are shaking. I wrote my suicide note a week ago, now I can use it. I should have done this a long time ago. I'm sorry.

I Need Someone

Anyone out there? I could use a stay up late buddy. Since no one cares about me here....

Why

Why do you do this to me?
Why do you do this so, easily?