Gives You Hell.

I heard writing can free a soul of troubles....so I have became overcome with sadness. I don't know why I can't let this thought in my head go away. This thought that I actually meant something to them. I don't know why I just look at her Twitter but I do. I know that we will never be together and that we would never work out but I can't stop my mind from wandering. I hate being so curious. I knew her for almost 4 years. That's a long time to know someone and just all of a sudden stop talking to them. I miss her, i do, but my life is better without her. I can breathe with my lungs and not my heart. My heart is still too weak to breathe. It's been battered by storms and horizons. I guess she's a strong girl after all. Its been about 5 months and shes still in my head, like a leech to skin. But she never cared, never loved, or even wanted to be with me. I realize it now. I was just something to pass the time. She's back to drinking, partying, smoking, and now hooking up with random guys. It's fine though, because I was the only person in her life that cared about her. So, now that I'm gone, she can throw her life away. I don't care. So, Erika, we've reached this point in our lives where we will never see/speak to each other ever again. I will not waver in my resolve. I will not falter in my being. I will not let you be the reason I die. You are a myth, a myth that was told to me over the last 3 or so years by the Devil. I have someone else. Someone that cares and loves me more than you ever showed. I spent too much time and money on you; things you did not deserve. Although I say these things, I know you will always have a place in my head. I hope that when you think of me you are saddened. Saddened at what you lost. I hope it gives you hell.



P.S. Finally, In about a month or so I will be enlisting into the Army. It's a long time overdue and I hope this time it works out.