24 Hours

So i went to my therapist yesterday and she said to my mom and me that i should go back to the hospital. I wanted to go back but my mom said no. My therapist thinks I'm going to kill myself, and quite frankly, i agree. My goal still is tomorrow. Mia thinks i shouldn't, but she doesn't know what I'm feeling. I can't blame her. Nothing of this is her fault. I told her i liked her but she has a boyfriend. I am really glad she is happy. She deserves it. I think i deserve this death. She says that i have a lot to live for, but i don't agree. As hard as she tries too say i have something to live for, in the end, i don't have anything. She can say all she wants that shes there for me and such but it will never make me happy. However, I would like to state that she does seem to truly care about my life, but that's not enough for me. I need that physical bond with a girl. I need the emotions that can bring a man back to life. Without that i am nothing. My plan is still intact and at this time its not changing. In a little more than 24 hours i wont have to write anymore blogs about my pain. That is because it will all be gone. And that, my readers, is the best feeling in the world i can hope for. I say that if someone comes along within 24 hours I'll change my mind. But seeing as how that's not going to happen, I'm left here alone. So this ends my blog session for the day. Like i said though, i might write another before I'm gone. Maybe not. So consider this my last one i guess. Thank you, and i hope your life gets better as mine dies away. Goodnight.