Wednesday, October 21, 2009
I Am Ready
I know, i know. I'm writing again. But this time i have to write to stop me from doing something stupid. Chelsea, my last friend, has walked away from my life. She said it was for the best, and maybe it is, but it hurts so much. I don't know what I'm going to do anymore. I cant stop crying. I think this is the time where i say this might be one of my last blogs. I cant go through my life alone, therefore i have to die. I don't write this for self pity, no not even a little bit. I write this because i want people to know that i never stood a chance in this world. I want people to know that this was meant for me. This suffering was meant for me. I wish you stayed. I wish you cared about me. You know how i am and yet you still walked away. You knew that i cant live without your help and you didn't care.Oh well, you are just like all the rest. Every close friend that I've known has known my story and has walked away knowing that ill be breaking once they leave. They don't care, I don't know why i thought Chelsea was different. I had faith in her i think because she was so different than anyone else. But i guess in the end, love means nothing. She has her boyfriend, and i have my death. I used to ask "why me?" but now i know. Because certain people do not deserve life. Certain people cannot live a good story. This is close to the end of me. I don't feel scared or nervous, because i am ready. I am ready to drop to the ground lifeless. I am ready to have all this hurt and suffering drained out of me as i slowly pass away. I am ready to prove to her that she killed me. They all did. I am ready to die.
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